Best Sarcastic Quotes About Relationships

Best Sarcastic Quotes About Relationships

If you’re looking for funny, hilarious and best sarcastic quotes about relationships, then you landed on the right place. In this article, I’m going to share more than 30 funny sarcastic relationship quotes that can make you laugh. So have fun reading…

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Best Sarcastic Relationships Quotes

  1. “I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?
    funny sarcastic relationship quotes
    funny sarcastic relationship quotes
  2. “My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield
  3. “Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.”
  4. “I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.” – Steven Wright
  5.  “I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.”
  6. “Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.” – Richard Jeni
    sarcastic bad relationship quotes
    sarcastic bad relationship quotes
  7.  “I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure where the hell you got the idea I cared.”
  8.  “Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.” – Albert Einstein
  9. “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.” – Laurence J Peter
  10. “The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders.” – Linda Festa

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  11. “Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.” – Henny Youngman 
    sarcastic quotes about relationships
    sarcastic quotes about relationships
  12. “If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?”—Lily Tomlin 
  13. “I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.” – Bill Clinton
  14. “A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.” – Barack Obama
  15. “Too many husbands and wives enter into marriage with the idea that their spouse exists for one purpose: to make them happy.” – Billy Graham
  16. “Getting in relationship is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.”— Unknown
    sarcastic quotes on relationships
    sarcastic quotes on relationships
  17. “Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” Ashleigh Brilliant
  18. “By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”—Socrates
  19. “The best thing to ever happen to marriage is the pause-live-TV button.” —Rick Reilly
  20. “Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn’t even have when you were on your own.”—Eddie Cantor

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    Hilarious Sarcasm Quotes on Relationship

  21. “The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prisons they let you play softball on the weekends.” – Agatha Christie
    sarcastic relationship quotes
    sarcastic relationship quotes
  22. “Oh, you’re afraid of your partner? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
  23. “Life is full of disappointments and I just added you to the list.”
  24. “They say ignorance is bliss but I find yours rather disturbing.”
  25. “Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.” – Richard Jeni

    Also, See: Funny and Sarcastic Quotes About Work

  26. “Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.” Joey Adams
    funny sarcastic relationship quotes
    funny sarcastic relationship quotes
  27. “What’s a queen without her king? Well, historically speaking, more powerful.”
  28. “I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” Patrick Murray
  29. “You were my cup of tea, but I drink champagne now.”
  30. “Marriage is a bliss for people who aren’t in it.”
  31. “Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.” Groucho Marx

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  32. “I don’t know how people can fake whole relationships. I can’t even fake a hello to somebody I don’t like.”
    Sarcastic Quotes About Relationships
    Sarcastic Quotes About Relationships
  33. “Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” Erma Bombeck
  34. “Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.” Gene Perret
  35. “My friends are so much cooler than yours. They’re invisible.”
  36. “Instead of ‘single’ as a marital status they should have ‘independently owned and operated.”
  37. Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.”
  38. “I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently ‘a way out’ wasn’t the right answer.”
    Sarcasm Quotes on Relationship
    Sarcasm Quotes on Relationship
  39. “The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prisons they let you play softball on the weekends.” – Agatha Christie
  40. “I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure where the hell you got the idea I cared.”

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