The 30 Best Sarcastic and Funny Quotes For Boss

You’ll see the best sarcastic quotes for boss in this article. You can share these funny boss quotes on the boss’s day and other vacations to make the environment funny in your office or at your workplace.

Related: Funny and Sarcastic Quotes About Work

Sarcastic Quotes for Boss

1. “When my boss asks me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.”

   

2. If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.
3. There’s no better vacation than my boss being on vacation.
4. “If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.” – Cannon’s Law
5. “Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss’s job.”
6. “My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous

   

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7. “Tell your boss what you really think about him and the truth shall set you free.” – Patrick Murray
8. “I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.” – Anonymous
9. When you don’t do it, you’re lazy. When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy.
10. “No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
11. My boss sends me an email.
    Boss: “Send me a joke”
    Me: “I am working right now!”
    Boss: “That was a great one! Send me another one!”

    

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12. “I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. Do you know what that means? Do you know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
13. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
14. People ask the difference between a leader and a boss. The leader leads, and the boss drives. Theodore Roosevelt
15. “No man goes before his time – unless the boss leaves early.”— Groucho Max
16. “My boss doesn’t believe money equals happiness. So instead of raises, he gives us Prozac.”

    

    Also read: 50+ Wednesday Work Quotes to Motivate You

17. “This may sound funny, but as much as the ‘Today’ show matured me, it also was something of a cocoon. I’d been happy there. I never went into the boss’s office and pounded my fist on the desk, saying, ‘Give me more money! Give me a prime-time show!”
18. “The main distinction between a boss and the Pope is the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.” – Unknown Author
19. “As soon as you get a cup of hot coffee, your boss will assign you a task that lasts just long enough for your coffee to go cold.”
20. “When you give birth to a great idea at work, your boss should give you 2 weeks of maternity leave.”
21. “I have a joke on my boss, but let me first overwork myself.”

    

    More work-related quotes: Best Thursday Motivational Quotes for Work

22. “Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.” ― Winston Churchill
23. “Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?” –  Homer Simpson
24. “I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
25. “Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.” – Doug Larson
26. Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties. – Doug Larson
27. “The speed of the boss is the speed of the team.” – Lee Iacocca

    

28. “The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.” – Anonymous
29. “If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.” – Cannon’s Law
30. “My boss did a boss job healing the boss’s itchy boss.”

Tell these funny boss quotes in a sarcastic way to make your colleagues laugh.