Funny and Sarcastic Quotes About Work

Enjoy the best funny and sarcastic quotes about work in this article. I’ve shared more than fifty sarcastic quotes for work that you can use in your office and with your colleagues.

Related: The 30 Best Sarcastic Quotes on Stupidity

The Best Funny Sarcastic Quotes About Work

1. “I don’t always tolerate stupid people. But when I do, I’m probably at work.”
   

   

2. “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
3. “I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend than be one.” — Clarence Darrow
4. When my boss asks me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.
5. “Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.”
6. You always do me a favor, when you shut up!
7. “The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.”

   

8. “I love my job. Can I go home now please?”
9. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
10. “I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
11. ” I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22 Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday. “
12. “The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
13. “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald

    

14. If you’re too Open-Minded Your Brains Will Fall Out.
15. “Sweetie, I’m gonna need you to put those few remaining brain cells together and work with me here, okay?”
16. “It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.”
17. If I had to pay you a dollar for every smart thing you say, I’d save a lot of money.
18. I’m not always rude and sarcastic sometimes I’m asleep.
19. Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday?
20. “Whoever says ‘nothing can surprise them’ should try working in my office.”

Also Read: 50 Best Quotes About Work Ethics

Sarcastic Funny Quotes To Tell Your Colleagues at Work

1. If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.

   

2. Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? – Edgar Bergen
3. The hardest job in the world is having to listen to you complain about having the hardest job in the world.
4. Please submit your ideas to me today so I can submit them as my own tomorrow.
5. Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.
6. There’s no better vacation than my boss being on vacation.
7. You don’t have to be crazy to work here. We’ll train you.
8. “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” –Robert Frost

   

9. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. George Carlin
10. “Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.” – Albert Einstein
11. “I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face but with words.”
12. “I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.”
13. “Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.”
14. “The reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more.” – Unknown
15. “The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does.” – Anonymous
16. “I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day.”

    

17. “The more that learn to read, the less learn how to make a living. That’s one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.” – Will Rogers
18. “I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to come home from work tomorrow.”
19. “Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.”
20. “I’m quite sarcastic, and I’m funny, but not kind of funny. It’s a weird funny, and some people don’t get me, and some people do.” – Millie Bobby Brown
21. “Don’t mistake this fake smile and professional body language. I’d punch you in the throat if I knew I wouldn’t lose my job.”
22. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” – Edgar Bergen
23. “If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.” – Cannon’s Law
24. “The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.” – Bove’s Theorem
25. “Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy.” – Huey Long

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Funny Sarcasm Quotes to Share in Your Office

1. “Whoever says nothing surprises them should try working at our office.”

   

2. “No, you don’t have to repeat yourself. I was ignoring you the first time.”
3. People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. – A. A. Milne
4. I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. – Anonymous
5. When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give sarcastic remarks. – Anonymous
6. I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying. – Woody Allen
7. ” Sometimes the best part of my job is that the chair swivels. “
8. ”Yesterday I did nothing and today I’m finishing off what I did yesterday.“

   

9. ” Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy. “
10. ” The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.“
11. ” It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance? “
12. ” Tell them what you’re going to tell them, tell them, then tell them what you told them. “
13. ” Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss’s job.”
14. ” Every employee rises to the level of his own incompetence. “
15. ” I have no idea what my job is here. I just drink lots of coffee. “
16. ” Doing nothing is harder than it looks. It’s impossible to take breaks.”

    

17. “Tell your boss what you really think about him and the truth shall set you free.” – Patrick Murray
18. “I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell me the truth–even if it costs him his job.” – Samuel Goldwyn
19. “Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss’s job.” – Unknown
20. “Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
21. “People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The trouble is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
22. “I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.” – Anonymous

    

23. “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” – Claude McDonald
24. “I mean what good does it do anyone to kill themselves working because the worms will get you in the end.” – Dorothy Gish
25. “Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking.” – Anonymous

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