Relationship Archives - PeoplesQuotes

If you're looking for funny, hilarious and best sarcastic quotes about relationships, then you landed on the right place. In this article, I'm going to share more than 30 funny sarcastic relationship quotes that can make you laugh. So have fun reading... Related: 30 Best Sarcastic quotes on Stupidity Best Sarcastic Relationships Quotes “I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time? funny sarcastic relationship quotes "My wife and I were happy for 20 years - then we met." - Rodney Dangerfield “Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.” "I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met." - Steven Wright “I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.” "Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in." - Richard Jeni sarcastic bad relationship quotes “I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure where the hell you got the idea I cared.” “Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.” - Albert Einstein "Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards." - Laurence J Peter "The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders." - Linda Festa Related: Sarcastic Quotes About Bad Fathers and Dads "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." - Henny Youngman sarcastic quotes about relationships “If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?”—Lily Tomlin "I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me." - Bill Clinton "A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong." - Barack Obama “Too many husbands and wives enter into marriage with the idea that their spouse exists for one purpose: to make them happy.” - Billy Graham “Getting in relationship is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.”— Unknown sarcastic quotes on relationships “Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” Ashleigh Brilliant “By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”—Socrates “The best thing to ever happen to marriage is the pause-live-TV button.” —Rick Reilly “Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn’t even have when you were on your own.”—Eddie Cantor Related: 60 Sarcastic Quotes To Tell Your Haters Hilarious Sarcasm Quotes on Relationship "The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prisons they let you play softball on the weekends." - Agatha Christie sarcastic relationship quotes “Oh, you’re afraid of your partner? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” “Life is full of disappointments and I just added you to the list.” “They say ignorance is bliss but I find yours rather disturbing.” "Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in." - Richard Jeni Also, See: Funny and Sarcastic Quotes About Work “Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.” Joey Adams funny sarcastic relationship quotes “What’s a queen without her king? Well, historically speaking, more powerful.” “I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” Patrick Murray “You were my cup of tea, but I drink champagne now.” “Marriage is a bliss for people who aren’t in it.” “Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.” Groucho Marx Also, Check Out: The 30 Best Sarcastic and Funny Quotes For Boss “I don’t know how people can fake whole relationships. I can’t even fake a hello to somebody I don’t like.” Sarcastic Quotes About Relationships “Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” Erma Bombeck “Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.” Gene Perret “My friends are so much cooler than yours. They’re invisible.” “Instead of ‘single’ as a marital status they should have ‘independently owned and operated.” “Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.” “I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently ‘a way out’ wasn’t the right answer.” Sarcasm Quotes on Relationship "The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prisons they let you play softball on the weekends." - Agatha Christie “I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure where the hell you got the idea I cared.” You may also like: Sarcastic Quotes on Myself Best Sarcastic Quotes on Life Facts