Humor is essential in family relationships as it brings loved ones closer together, creates a positive environment, eases tensions, and fosters healthy communication and understanding among each family member.
By sharing the best sarcastic quotes about family, you can create a warm and welcoming environment where everyone can laugh together and enjoy being themselves.
In this article, I’ve gathered some of the best humorous quotes about family that you can share with your brothers, sisters, parents, friends, and relatives.
The Humorous and Sarcastic Quotes about Family
1. “I know family comes first, but shouldn’t that mean after breakfast?” – Jeff Lindsay
2. “The informality of family life is a blessed condition that allows us all to become our best while looking our worst.” – Marge Kennedy
3. “My family is temperamental, half temper, half mental.” – Anonymous
4. “If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that ‘Members not Present’ and ‘Subjects Discussed’ were one and the same. ” – Robert Brault
5. “The bigger your family, the bigger your problems.” – Anonymous
6. “I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.” – Erma Bombeck
7. “Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.” – Sam Levenson
8. “In a household of toddlers and pets, we discover this rule of thumb about happy families, that they are at least two-thirds incontinent.” – Robert Brault
9. “Having a child makes you a parent; having two, you are a referee.” – David Frost
10. “Folks, I don’t trust children. They’re here to replace us.” – Stephen Colbert
11. “If you want to change the world, do it while you’re single. Once you’re married, you can’t even change the TV Channel.” —Anonymous
12. “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”— George Burns
13. “I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance—waiting for the bathroom.”- Bob Hope
14. “Everyone knows that if you’ve got a brother, you’re going to fight.”—Liam Gallagher
15. “Respect your parents. These guys pay for your internet.”—Anonymous
16. “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.”—Henny Youngman
17. “I realized my family was funny because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.” — Anthony Anderson
18. “In some families, ‘please’ is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was ‘sorry’.” — Margaret Laurence
19. “Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.” — Earl Wilson
20. “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” — Erma Bombeck
21. “The advantage of having only one child is that you always know who did it.” — Erma Bombeck
22. “The other night, I ate at a really nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.” — George Carlin
23. “As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.” – Buddy Hackett
24. “Respect your parents. They passed school without Google.”—Anonymous
25. “There is so much I love about our little family, especially when they are all asleep.”—Anonymous
26. “And then I thought to myself, what is the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”—Anonymous
27. “Blood is thicker than water, but maple syrup is thicker than blood, so technically pancakes are more important than family.”—Anonymous
28. “My kids call it yelling when I raise my voice. I call it motivational speaking for the selective listener.”—Anonymous
29. “Family is like pizza. It’s messy, might give you a stomachache, and you can’t get enough of it.”—Anonymous
30. “Children aren’t happy without something to ignore, and that’s what parents were invented for.” – Ogden Wash
31. “People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.” – Leo J. Burke
32. “All of the men in my family are bearded, and most of the women.” – W.C. Fields
33. “It’s not easy being a mom. If it were easy, fathers would do it.” – Betty White (Best Moms Quotes)
34. “I’ve come to learn that the best time to debate family members is with food in their mouths.”—Anonymous
35. “A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.”—Anonymous
36. “Every family has one weird relative. If you don’t know who it is, it’s probably you.”—Anonymous
37. “Some of us were born into this family. Others were crazy enough to join by choice.”—Anonymous
38. “I love family reunions. Maybe next year we could pass out samurai swords.” – Doug Solter
39. “Having a big family is a good way to make sure there’s always someone there to answer the phone and forget the message.”—Anonymous
40. “Heirlooms we don’t have in our family. But stories we’ve got.” – Rose Cherin
41. “If you don’t believe in ghosts, you’ve never been to a family reunion.” – Ashleigh Brilliant
42. “We are more than family. We are like a really small gang.”—Anonymous
43. “Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.” – Robert Frost
44. “I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.”- Rodney Dangerfield
45. “Good News: The holidays are about family. Bad News: It has to be your own family.”—Anonymous
46. “Family ties mean that no matter how much you might want to run from your family, you can’t.”—Anonymous
47. “Every family has that one crazy person in it. If you’re missing one, I seem to have a few extras.” —Anonymous
48. “In my family, crazy doesn’t skip a generation.”—Anonymous
49. “The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.” – Richard Brault
50. “Having a child makes you a parent; having two, you are a referee.”—Anonymous
Enjoy more sarcastic quotes:
- 50 Epic Sarcastic Quotes About Friendship
- Top 50 Sarcastic Quotes on Life
- Best Sarcastic Quotes About Relationships
- Sarcastic Quotes About Bad Fathers and Dads
- 60 Sarcastic Haters Quotes That are Hillarious
I’m Murshid Akram, a introvert who love reading and sharing positive vibes through quotes and sayings. I believe with love and compassion we can make this world a better place.