50 Best Sarcastic Quotes About Family

Humor is essential in family relationships as it brings loved ones closer together, creates a positive environment, eases tensions, and fosters healthy communication and understanding among each family member.

By sharing the best sarcastic quotes about family, you can create a warm and welcoming environment where everyone can laugh together and enjoy being themselves.

In this article, I’ve gathered some of the best humorous quotes about family that you can share with your brothers, sisters, parents, friends, and relatives.

The Humorous and Sarcastic Quotes about Family

1. “I know family comes first, but shouldn’t that mean after breakfast?” – Jeff Lindsay

sarcastic family quotes

2. “The informality of family life is a blessed condition that allows us all to become our best while looking our worst.” – Marge Kennedy

3. “My family is temperamental, half temper, half mental.” – Anonymous

4. “If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that ‘Members not Present’ and ‘Subjects Discussed’ were one and the same. ” – Robert Brault

5. “The bigger your family, the bigger your problems.” – Anonymous

sarcastic family problem quotes

6. “I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.” – Erma Bombeck

7. “Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.” – Sam Levenson

8. “In a household of toddlers and pets, we discover this rule of thumb about happy families, that they are at least two-thirds incontinent.” – Robert Brault

9. “Having a child makes you a parent; having two, you are a referee.” – David Frost

10. “Folks, I don’t trust children. They’re here to replace us.” – Stephen Colbert

family children quotes

11. “If you want to change the world, do it while you’re single. Once you’re married, you can’t even change the TV Channel.” —Anonymous

12. “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”— George Burns

13. “I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance—waiting for the bathroom.”- Bob Hope

14. “Everyone knows that if you’ve got a brother, you’re going to fight.”—Liam Gallagher

15. “Respect your parents. These guys pay for your internet.”—Anonymous

sarcastic quotes on parents

16. “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.”—Henny Youngman

17. “I realized my family was funny because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.” — Anthony Anderson

18. “In some families, ‘please’ is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was ‘sorry’.” — Margaret Laurence

19. “Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.” — Earl Wilson

20. “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” — Erma Bombeck

Sarcastic Quotes on Mother

21. “The advantage of having only one child is that you always know who did it.” — Erma Bombeck

22. “The other night, I ate at a really nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.” — George Carlin

23. “As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.” – Buddy Hackett

24. “Respect your parents. They passed school without Google.”—Anonymous

25. “There is so much I love about our little family, especially when they are all asleep.”—Anonymous

Sarcastic Quotes on Family

26. “And then I thought to myself, what is the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”—Anonymous

27. “Blood is thicker than water, but maple syrup is thicker than blood, so technically pancakes are more important than family.”—Anonymous

28. “My kids call it yelling when I raise my voice. I call it motivational speaking for the selective listener.”—Anonymous

29. “Family is like pizza. It’s messy, might give you a stomachache, and you can’t get enough of it.”—Anonymous

30. “Children aren’t happy without something to ignore, and that’s what parents were invented for.” – Ogden Wash

sarcastic quotes about family

31. “People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.” – Leo J. Burke

32. “All of the men in my family are bearded, and most of the women.” – W.C. Fields

33. “It’s not easy being a mom. If it were easy, fathers would do it.” – Betty White (Best Moms Quotes)

34. “I’ve come to learn that the best time to debate family members is with food in their mouths.”—Anonymous

35. “A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.”—Anonymous

Spend Time With Family

36. “Every family has one weird relative. If you don’t know who it is, it’s probably you.”—Anonymous

37. “Some of us were born into this family. Others were crazy enough to join by choice.”—Anonymous

38. “I love family reunions. Maybe next year we could pass out samurai swords.” – Doug Solter

39. “Having a big family is a good way to make sure there’s always someone there to answer the phone and forget the message.”—Anonymous

40. “Heirlooms we don’t have in our family. But stories we’ve got.” – Rose Cherin

Family Stories Quotes

41. “If you don’t believe in ghosts, you’ve never been to a family reunion.” – Ashleigh Brilliant

42. “We are more than family. We are like a really small gang.”—Anonymous

43. “Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.” – Robert Frost

44. “I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.”- Rodney Dangerfield

45. “Good News: The holidays are about family. Bad News: It has to be your own family.”—Anonymous

sarcastic quotes for family

46. “Family ties mean that no matter how much you might want to run from your family, you can’t.”—Anonymous

47. “Every family has that one crazy person in it. If you’re missing one, I seem to have a few extras.” —Anonymous

48. “In my family, crazy doesn’t skip a generation.”—Anonymous

49. “The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.” – Richard Brault

50. “Having a child makes you a parent; having two, you are a referee.”—Anonymous

Humorous quotes about family

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