Sarcastic Quotes About Bad Fathers and Dads

If you’re looking for the best sarcastic quotes about bad fathers and dads, then you’ve come to the right place. In this article, I’ve compiled more than 40 sarcastic quotes for bad fathers that can make you laugh.

Let’s find out your best sarcastic bad father quotes from the below ones.

Best Sarcastic Quotes about Bad Fathers

1. “Anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a dad.” —Unknown
2. “If a man cannot be a father to his own child, there is nothing worse than that.” —Unknown
3. “There should be an anti-father’s day. A bad dad’s day. That way I could truly say “you are the best.” —Unknown
4. My dad always said, “You better go to church every Sunday. We need somebody into this family to go to heaven.”
5. I love my dad, because even though he has Alzheimer’s, he remembers the important things. He can’t remember my name, but last week he told me exactly how much money I owe him. – Thyra Lees-Smith
   
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6. Please don’t worry, I am doing fine. You’re much too busy to even find the time, so use your chemicals and take this to your grave, the boys you left are men you didn’t raise.
7. Don’t take the title of a man if you simply can’t handle the responsibilities of being one.
8. My father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. – Spike Milligan
9. I saw dad with mom last night. I think he was stealing my milk.

   

10. “It is time to step up and be a man. Call your children and tell them sorry for being a piece of shit. Then actually stay around and be a positive force in their life.”
11. “Having kids doesn’t make you a father. Raising them does.”
12. “There’s nothing worse than a man that can be everything to everybody else…except a father to their own child.”
13. “It is much easier to become a father than to be one.”- Kent Nerburn               
14. “My dad was born a conjoined twin, but separated at birth. So I have an uncle, once removed.”
15. My father in law gets up at 5 o’clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don’t know why there’s this big rush to do this.
    
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    Sarcastic Quotes For Bad Fathers

16. Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn’t teach me everything he knows. – Al Unser

    

17. Sorry that mommy has to teach you how to be a man. Daddy was more of a bitch than we initially thought.
18. “I was 36 before I figured out most of my dad’s advice to me was just quotes from Burt Reynolds movies.”
19. I overheard mom telling dad, “Congratulations on being a year older and still maintaining such a low level of maturity. You are truly an inspiration.”
20. “Some kids are able to become independent without the presence of their father.”
21. “Only twenty two percent of fathers who don’t live in the same house as their children are “actively” involved.”
22. Dad, thanks for being slightly embarrassing than all the other dads.

    

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23. “You know, if fathers just did what they’re supposed to do, half of the junk that we face in the streets wouldn’t exist.” – Nathan Hayes
24. “Hey “dad” I did it without you.”
25. “Respect to all moms doing double duty because of men failing to do their part as dad.”- John Mark Green
26. When I was little my dad had me convinced that the Ice Cream truck only played music when it was sold out. Well played Dad, well played.
27. Lately all my friends are worried that they’re turning into their fathers. I’m worried that I’m not.
28. My dad used to say, always fight fire with fire, which is probably why he got thrown out of the the fire brigade. – Harry Hill
    

    Sarcasm Quotes on Dads

29. Fathers are biological necessities, but social accidents. – Margaret Mead

    

30. My father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. – Spike Milligan
    
31. My father refused to spend money on me as a kid. One time I broke my arm playing football, and my father tried to get a free x-ray by taking me down to the airport and making me lie down with the luggage. – Glenn Super
32. When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.- Mark Twain
33. At the zoo, with my dad, he turns to us and says, “Girls, I just stepped on a frog” we rushed over and realized he had farted.
34. My dad cracks me up. One time has asked, “You’re on twitter? What’s your hashtag?”
35. A teen shouted at his Dad: It’s not your job to embarrass me. He replied, “I know.” Then smiled and said, “It’s one of the perks”
36. My dad always said, “You better go to church every Sunday. We need somebody into this family to go to heaven.”

    

37. Once my dad came to my band show and didn’t take any pictures. I asked him why and he said: “Nobody wants to remember this”
38. My dad told me back then, “When you start a new job, don’t talk a lot. This way they won’t know how dumb you are.” I said, “Thanks, dad.” Guess he was right.
39. “She is a liberated woman, she doesn’t have to wear a bra”, my dad said about my 64-year-old mother.
40. My dad asked me, “Son, have I been a good father?” I said, “Dad, you’re the best. Why do you ask?” He said, “I wanted to make sure the way you turned out is your fault.” – Stu Trivax
41. I phoned my dad to tell him I stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. – Steven Pearl
42. I told my dad that my grades weren’t that good and he said was “better get the snorkel ready if you’re going below C level.”
43. “I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.” -Rodney Dangerfield

    

44. Dad: I need to get into shape. Me: Dad, a round is a shape.
45. Last Thanksgiving I told my dad that families are supposed to be kind and loving. His response? “Eh, find another family”.
46. “When I was eight years old, I was called into the principal’s office and my father was looking very solemn. And he said, ‘We gotta go, it’s Grandma.’ We got in the car and I said, ‘What’s wrong with Grandma?’ And he said, ‘Nothing, we’re going to the movies.’” -Sam Rockwell

MurshidAkram

I’m Murshid Akram, a introvert who love reading and sharing positive vibes through quotes and sayings. I believe with love and compassion we can make this world a better place.