30 Best Sarcastic Quotes About Marriage

Marriage is a pious relationship in which two people promise to live together until their last breath.

However, many people make funny jokes and share sarcastic quotes on marriage life.

These quotes are not intended to be serious but light-hearted thoughts to light up the environment.

In this article, I’ve shared the 30 best sarcastic quotes about marriage that you can share with your friends and family.

Sarcastic Quotes About Marriage that are Most Hillarious

  1. “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” Groucho Marx
  2.  “Marriage is a bliss for people who aren’t in it.” – Anonymous
  3. “There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.” James Holt McGavran
  4. “I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” Patrick Murray
  5.  “Marriage is a give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.” Joey Adams
  6. “Marriage. Because your crappy day doesn’t have to end at work.” – Anonymous
  7. “Marriage isj a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.” Cecilia Egan
  8.  “Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.” Gene Perret
  9. “Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” Erma Bombeck
  10. “Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.” Groucho Marx
  11. “You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the South? Nothing! Someone’s losing a trailer, number one.” Robin Williams, Actor
  12. “If you want to change the world, do it while you’re single. Once you’re married you can’t even change the TV Channel.”
  13. “When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.” Sacha Guitry
  14. “Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.” Cecilia Egan
  15. “Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.” Groucho Marx
  16. “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” Groucho Marx
  17. “They say marriages are made in heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.” – Clint Eastwood
  18. “Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.” — Mae West
  19.  “Just found out the wife is writing a book about our honeymoon, called Fifty Shades of Just Okay.” — Conan O’Brien
  20.  “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterward.” — Benjamin Franklin
  21. “A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.” — Zsa Zsa Gabor
  22.  “Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.” — Ogden Nash
  23. Never laugh at your wife’s choices. You are one of them.” — Unknown
  24. “Only married people can understand how you can be miserable and happy at the same time.” — Chris Rock
  25. “Music played at weddings always reminds me of the music played for soldiers before they go into battle.” — Heinrich Heine
  26. “The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him.” — Oscar Wilde
  27. “Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.”— George Bernard Shaw
  28. “When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” — Prince Philip
  29. “Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.” — Unknown
  30. “A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.” — Milton Berle

I hope you liked these quotes.

You can also check out the following quotes if you love sarcasm: