Sarcastic Archives – Page 2 of 2

If you're looking for the best sarcastic quotes on life, you've come to the right place. I've collected 50 best funny quotes about life that can make you laugh. Enjoy these quotes and share the ones that relate to your life. The Best Short Sarcastic Quotes About Life 1. “Life’s good, you should get one.” -Unknown 2. "When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in peoples' eyes." -Unknown 3. "Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth." -Unknown 4. "Life is like a roller coaster, and I’m about to throw up." - Anonymous 5. "Life is full of disappointments, and I just added you to the list." -Unknown 6. “Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.” -John Wayne 7. "Have some fun with your life. Call in sick to places you don't even work at." -Unknown 8. "My life is just a series of awkward and humiliating moments separated by snacks." -Unknown 9. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” — Elbert Hubbard 10. "I'm starting to think my purpose in life is to serve as a cautionary tale to others." 11. “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” — John Lennon 12. “Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.” — Woody Allen 13. “Life is a sexually transmitted disease.” — R.D. Laing 14. “Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.” — John Wayne 15. “Reality continues to ruin my life.” — Bill Watterson 16. “Life is hard. After all, it kills you.” — Katharine Hepburn 17. “Life is like going to a party – dance even when you don’t feel like it.” - Anonymous 18. “May your life be as awesome as people pretend it is on Social media.” Anonymous 19. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence — then success is sure. - Mark Twain 20. “Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.” - Stephen Hawking 21. “Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.” - Allen Saunders 22. “If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.”- Lawrence Ferlinghetti 23. “Don’t tell people your dreams. Show them.” -Unknown 24. “An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough” -Unknown 25. “There are two rules in life 1. Never give out all the information” -Unknown Sarcastic Quotes on Life To Make You Laugh 26. "If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, it’s because you’re both heading in the same direction." - Anonymous 27. "Why do we spend so much time looking for intelligent life on other planets? I'd be happy to find intelligent life here on Earth first." -Anonymus 28. “The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.” — Bill Watterson 29. “When something goes wrong in your life, just yell “Plot Twist” and move on.” – Unknown 30. "If life gives you lemons, then be thankful for it. I have been getting only the peels for as long as I can remember!" -Unknown 31. “To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.” — Reba McEntire 32. “Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.” — Dr. Seuss 33. “The great gift of family life is to be intimately acquainted with people you might never even introduce yourself to, had life not done it for you.” — Kendall Hailey. 34. "I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness." ― Bill Watterson 35. Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times. - Helen Rowland 36. If at first, you don’t succeed, quit. When life gives you lemons, quit. When the going gets tough, the tough just quit. - Jim Rome 37. “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow! What a Ride!’” — Hunter S. Thompson 38. I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. - Ron White 39. “Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for an hour. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.” — Terry Pratchett 40. “When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.” — Richard Lewis 41. "There are some people who come into your life pretending that they love you only because they need you." - Uzair Lallmamod 42. Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers. - Matt Groening 43. Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television. - David Letterman 44. "Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it." - Tom Lehrer 45. “Fear is the second toughest bitch in life. Do you know who comes first? You.” -Unknown 46. “Always remember. God will never take anything away from you without the intention of replacing it with something much better.” -Unknown 47. “Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and he’ll have to touch it to be sure.” –Murphy’s Law 48. “Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.” -Mignon McLaughlin 49. “Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.” -Unknown 50. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily.” -Zig Ziglar Related Quotes: 30 Best Sarcastic Quotes on StupiditySarcastic Quotes on Love (40 Best Quotes)Best Sarcastic Quotes About RelationshipsSarcastic Quotes on Myself (30+ Quotes)Sarcastic Quotes About Bad Fathers and DadsBest Sarcastic Quotes on Life FactsSarcastic Haters Quotes: 60 Quotes To Tell Your HatersThe 30 Best Sarcastic and Funny Quotes For Boss

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